A Bedford Borough headteacher is urging local people to support children affected by parental imprisonment, a hidden trauma impacting thousands of families across the country.
It is estimated that up to 310,000 children in England and Wales experience having a parent in prison every year.
Despite being a recognised adverse childhood experience (ACE), there is currently no statutory mechanism to identify or support these vulnerable young people.
ACEs are potentially traumatic events that occur between birth and age 17. These can include experiencing abuse, witnessing violence, or facing instability due to a household member being in prison.
Families are often paralysed by shame and guilt, forcing children to grieve in silence and hide their reality from teachers and friends.
Caron Brown, a local headteacher and patron of the charity Invisible Walls, knows this isolation firsthand.
Her father served multiple custodial sentences, and she spent her childhood from the age of eight visiting him in prison, including when he was on remand at HMP Bedford.
“When people did find out what had happened to my family, there was very much a sense of ‘we don’t want families like yours around here’,” she said.
She experienced numerous disruptive school moves and carried the heavy burden of stigma for years.
The trauma also severely impacted her wider family, particularly her mother, who lived in constant fear of social services intervening.
Caron added, “My mum was scared, and she was shamed. She actually died two years ago, and she never got over it.”
As she grew older, the trauma of her father’s absence was compounded by the profound grief of losing the person she thought he was.
“I slowly began to realise for myself that actually what my dad was doing, stealing other people’s money, isn’t acceptable. Even if he never hurt anybody physically, he certainly hurt his family,” she said.
Today, she and her sister maintain firm boundaries with their now 83-year-old father, but the turning point for her advocacy came in July 2021, when she parked outside Bedford Prison and realised children were still making the exact same journey she once did.
Caron told us, “It came as a huge shock to me. I started thinking, well, hang on a minute, are there children still going into that place and visiting on a daily basis?”
Beyond the Walls
To help break this cycle, Invisible Walls and its partners are hosting the ‘Beyond the Walls’ conference at Bedford Academy on Wednesday, 25 November.
The event will explore the theme of parental imprisonment and help local practitioners develop a trauma-informed approach to supporting affected families.
The session runs from 9.30am to 3pm, with lunch and free parking provided for attendees.
Organisers are aiming the event at anyone working with children, including teachers, nursery staff and family support workers.
Caron hopes the community can become the support network these children desperately need.
“I was very fortunate in one school to find a kind teacher. I remember the shock registering on her face as I told her that my dad was in prison and I’d been to see him, and that’s why I hadn’t done my homework.
“I remember the shock on her face, and then I remember her kindness, and that has stayed with me all the way through my career. I have been driven by that one teacher’s kindness.”
And while the event may be for those who work with children, she had this message for people who may have a family member in prison.
“That teacher was very much not the norm, and that day I remember getting home and telling my mum that I had told my teacher, and my mum being furious with me.
“That sense of shame, it kind of echoes through the years, you know, and it wasn’t her shame.
“They [the person in prison] do not define you. You define yourself, and you will make your choices in life. Do absolutely find that kind person who is listening.”
If you work with children, you can book a place at the Beyond the Walls event via Eventbrite.
