Trevor Holland is 42 years old. He has a full-time job, owns his own home, and is happily married. On the surface, everything looks perfectly fine.
But for years, Trevor felt like something was missing. He was diagnosed with ADHD in 2012. He knew that didn’t quite tell the whole story. So in late May this year, he received a formal autism diagnosis.
An unexpected reaction
Most people assume that getting an official diagnosis brings instant relief. Trevor certainly did.
“I assumed that getting this diagnosis formally was going to be quite straightforward for me emotionally,” he explains. “I thought I’d finally feel heard and it would quite simply be a box-ticking exercise.”
The reality was very different. Instead of relief, Trevor faced a sudden identity crisis. He says he went through a period of real sadness and confusion.
The exhaustion of masking
For his entire life, Trevor had been masking. He had spent four decades mirroring social cues to fit into a world that wasn’t built for him.
Getting the diagnosis meant he suddenly had to figure out who he actually was underneath that performance.
“You start to question, ‘What’s my actual personality?'” Trevor says. “What am I really like as a human being? And you start to go through this process of trying to take that mask off and present a more realistic version of who you are.”
Navigating an invisible disability takes a heavy toll. Trevor can hold everything together at work or socially. But doing so leaves him exhausted.
“Once I’ve done the socialising, I’ll go home and then have to decompress for two days because of that,” he adds.
Finding a community
Trevor has a very small social circle. He didn’t have anyone around him going through a similar experience. So he sat down with his wife and decided to channel his feelings into something creative.
That is how the Shouty Brain podcast was born.
He wanted to expand his circle of friends while creating a safe space for neurodivergent people to talk openly.
“I can build something positive from this where people like me, and like the guests that I have, have a space where they can have really honest and frank conversations,” Trevor says.
The response has been brilliant. Guests are jumping at the chance to sit down and be their authentic selves.
One standout episode features Lisa Kelly. She is an American guest who was diagnosed with autism at 50. Her honest account of decades spent struggling with sensory issues really struck a chord with listeners.
Challenging the myths
Trevor is also using the podcast to challenge harmful misconceptions. He grew up in the 80s and 90s. Back then, the only media representation of autism was Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man.
Today it is common to hear people complain that everyone just wants a label. Trevor quickly points out that autism is not suddenly being overdiagnosed.
“The simple fact is it’s more known about than there used to be,” he notes.
And with NHS waiting lists stretching up to four years for adult assessments, self-diagnosis is often the only option people have.
“Why, of course, people are going to be self-identifying and self-diagnosing because that’s the only option they have,” he says.
By sharing these open conversations, the podcast aims to give neurodivergent voices a platform and help listeners feel a little less isolated.
You can learn more about Trevor’s journey on his website and hear from his guests on the Shouty Brain podcast on YouTube, Instagram, and all the usual podcast platforms.
Just search ‘Shouty Brain’ on your podcast app of choice.
